Rejection is never fun. In fact, it can be downright soul-crushing. But rejection happens to everyone — and not just in the workplace. We get rejected by friends, family members, potential dates: you name it! Regardless of how we’re rejected, however, there are ways that we can all cope with this uncomfortable feeling. Here are some tips for dealing with rejection:
Take time to process the rejection.
A rejection is a blow, but it’s not the end of the world. You might feel like you’ve been kicked in the gut, but if you take some time to process what happened and remind yourself that rejection isn’t personal, things will look better in no time.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s easy to beat up on yourself after being rejected from a job or internship opportunity–but remember that employers have lots of options when it comes to hiring people and they don’t have all day every day just for your interview! Your interviewer may have had something come up at work or simply been having an off day when he/she met with you; either way, there was probably nothing wrong with YOU specifically (and even if there was something wrong about YOU specifically…well…you can always improve). Don’t dwell on thoughts like “”I’m not good enough”” or “”What makes them think I’m qualified?”” Because guess what? Even though this particular company didn’t think so right now…there are plenty out there who do!
Identify your feelings, without judgment.
When you’ve been rejected from a job, it’s normal to feel disappointed and angry. It’s also natural to blame yourself for not getting the position. But these emotions are just that: emotions. They’re neither good nor bad; they just are what they are.
It’s okay if your first reaction is one of disappointment or anger–it means that you care about your future career path, which is great! Just remember that there will always be another opportunity around the corner (or several). You’re not going anywhere; this rejection doesn’t mean anything other than someone else had different needs than yours at this point in time.
Write down what happened, and how you’re feeling about it.
If you’re like me, and if your brain has been trained to be analytical and rational, then writing down the facts of what happened will feel like a good first step. But it’s also important to write down how you’re feeling about those facts–and why they make sense for you in light of other experiences or personal factors (e.g., maybe this job rejection is similar in some way to another rejection experience).
To help put things into perspective, I recommend asking yourself these questions:
What was my immediate reaction when I found out?
How did that change over time?
What could have been done differently by myself or others involved in making the decision (e.g., interviewers)?
Examine what went wrong — for both of you.
After you’ve had time to calm down and reflect, it’s time to examine what went wrong — for both of you.
This can be a difficult task if you’re not used to looking at your own actions critically, but it’s an important one. Consider what could have been done differently in order to make the situation work out better: Was there something that you could have said or done that would have changed the outcome? What about the other person? If they had acted differently would things have turned out differently? Or perhaps neither party did anything wrong; maybe this just wasn’t meant to work out.
In any case, once we understand why things didn’t work out as planned (or even if we don’t), we can take steps toward making sure future rejections go smoother by learning from our mistakes and moving forward with confidence!
Focus on your strengths — not just your weaknesses or the reasons why the person rejected you.
Focus on your strengths — not just your weaknesses or the reasons why the person rejected you.
That’s right, I said it: focus on your strengths. It may seem counterintuitive, but it’s true. When we focus on what we’re good at, it gives us confidence and helps us move forward with our lives more quickly than if we obsess over our mistakes or what we could have done better in any given situation.
There are plenty of ways to do this! Here are just a few ideas:
Write down three things that went well during your interview process (even if they weren’t related to answering questions).
Think about how much more competent and confident you feel now than when you started out as an applicant for this job opportunity–that should give some perspective!
Remember that there’s always another job out there, and it will come when you least expect it.
Rejection is a normal part of life, and it’s something that everyone experiences. The key to handling rejection is to remember that there are always other jobs out there–you just haven’t found them yet. When you get rejected from one job, don’t take it personally or think that it reflects badly on you as a person (even though sometimes it does). The fact is that every employer has different needs and priorities at any given time; if they wanted someone else for this particular position, then another opportunity will come along when the timing is better for both parties involved.
If all else fails: remember that rejection isn’t permanent! If one employer rejects you today but another employer accepts you tomorrow, then who cares about yesterday? You still have all your fingers and toes attached – those things aren’t going anywhere anytime soon! So keep looking forward toward whatever goal(s) brought up this whole conversation about finding employment in the first place (examples include: getting married/divorced/separated from someone who doesn’t support their dreams).
Rejection is never fun but there are ways to cope with it
The first step to coping with rejection is to remember that you are not alone in feeling rejected. Everyone has been rejected at some point in their lives, so there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s important that you feel sorry for yourself, but only for a short period of time. Once this has passed, it’s time to pick yourself up and get back on your feet again! It can be hard not knowing what the future holds or how long it will take until something else comes along; however, this is where self-reflection comes into play: ask yourself what went wrong? What could I have done differently? These questions may seem difficult at first glance but they’re actually quite helpful because they help us learn from our mistakes so we don’t make them again later down the road (or maybe even now).
Finally–and most importantly–rejection isn’t always bad news! Sometimes we need our dreams crushed just so we know exactly what direction we want our lives go in next.””
Conclusion
Rejection is never fun, but there are ways to cope with it. If you’re looking for your next job or want to make sure that the one you have isn’t going anywhere, give us a call! We can help.”
